Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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