South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
