we have officially lost it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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