she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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