So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
