today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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