I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
