Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
