i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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