butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she peed on how many people?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
