He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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