A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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