So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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