Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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