New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
