She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
