Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
