so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize