his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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