I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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