yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
