I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
