i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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