If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize