Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
