did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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