Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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