I queefed so loud it echoed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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