after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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