My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
