Duck Duck Cougar?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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