Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
