so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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