How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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