we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
