He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
