I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
