just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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