Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
