Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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