I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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