Pappa wants mamma naked
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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