Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....

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  (518): OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX..... http://tfl.nu/r3kn
  Replies (5) Good night (984) Bad night (822)
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  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (572) Bad night (1713)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you don't even go to loyola anymore

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  (504): loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs (314): you don't even go to loyola anymore http://tfl.nu/fisu
  Replies (45) Good night (7867) Bad night (848)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We named our party play list daddy issues

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  (704): We named our party play list daddy issues http://tfl.nu/zy7m
  Replies (4) Good night (2659) Bad night (660)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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  (218): I threw up into my coffee this morning. http://tfl.nu/fytz
  Replies (10) Good night (846) Bad night (5000)
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  (562): View more from California

  We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

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  (562): We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went. http://tfl.nu/2aw8
  Replies (25) Good night (5344) Bad night (1230)
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  (716): View more from New York

  your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

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  (716): your facebook page is a work of drunk art. http://tfl.nu/2ehc
  Replies (3) Good night (3637) Bad night (803)
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  (707): View more from California

  please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up

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  (707): please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up http://tfl.nu/kqwh
  Replies (9) Good night (1945) Bad night (1690)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.

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  (785): It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired. http://tfl.nu/t1fn
  Replies (9) Good night (3232) Bad night (799)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?

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  (401): he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid? http://tfl.nu/msiw
  Replies (8) Good night (2029) Bad night (622)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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  (971): Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard http://tfl.nu/g5bb
  Replies (1) Good night (1144) Bad night (527)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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  (856): and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her http://tfl.nu/d5zb
  Replies (2) Good night (1626) Bad night (523)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.

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  (907): Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7bx7
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (428)
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  (707): View more from California

  He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.

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  (707): He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bl7f
  Replies (6) Good night (305) Bad night (1594)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're my favorite person

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  (913): I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that. (1-913): You're my favorite person http://tfl.nu/9772
  Replies (7) Good night (1116) Bad night (419)

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