So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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