she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
NoShamevember. You game?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
