If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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