I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
