he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
