I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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