after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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