On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's always time for handjobs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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