She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
