Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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