You're completely useless in the revolution.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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