I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
