I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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