i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we made out on top of his cat.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
