I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
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I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm like, not good at living.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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