You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
