So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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