i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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