Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When are your genitals available?
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