Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So vagazzling was a success
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize