If i come over, it means nothing
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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