the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
