Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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