You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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