Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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